by Johanna Osborne

I don’t know how it happened or where the time went, but it seems this week I am really turning 35. I did a quick calculation to make sure that this could indeed be true, and unfortunately it appears to be a fact. Yes, I am officially half way to 70! I vividly remember anticipating my childhood birthdays with glee and counting the days, hours and minutes until it was finally time to celebrate. Strange how something that once seemed to take forever to come around, now occurs with alarming frequency. The older you get, the faster time goes! But instead of lamenting that I am now as close to 40 as I am to 30, I do believe that life is only just getting good. The last 15 years have taught me an immense amount. And whilst I still have a mammoth amount of learning to do, I have gathered some precious morsels of wisdom acquired through trial and error – which really is the only way to learn. I’ve always believed you have to touch the stove yourself to see if it’s hot, no point someone else telling you not to.

We are all born with a nice big capacity to make mistakes in life. And hindsight really is a wonderful thing. We live, we stuff up, and we live some more, stuff up again, learn some more and finally somewhere along the line a wee bit of wisdom creeps in. But it never ends and the revolving door of life lessons is an interesting one.

There are times in life where our likelihood of making errors is higher – usually when we are stressed and under pressure. Planning a wedding certainly falls under that category, and from firsthand experience I know how overwhelming it can seem. Especially in this day and age where everyone goes the extra mile and pulls out all the stops to go all fancy and spectacular. Whilst it’s hugely exciting, it’s also daunting. And when we are under pressure sometimes our nerves are the first thing to suffer, and that’s when certain decisions and judgements may end up being a bit cloudy. This is true in many situations, and looking back I know this applies to me in many parts and aspects of my life. What have I learnt? Here’s a few of my favourites…

1. Don’t ever resolve or deal with a big issue over text. Yes, it’s easy, more convenient and possibly also more comfortable to dodge that tricky conversation, but things get misinterpreted via text and it can do irreparable damage to your relationship or friendship. Call, talk about it and sort it out. I look back a few occasions in my life where things would have taken a very different turn if only I had picked up the phone and called my friend and talked to her about it. The immaturity of youth prevented me from having the confidence to deal with a problem directly, and to this day I regret not being more proactive. As the Chinese proverb goes “Friendship is like a book. It takes years to write but only seconds to burn.”

2. Apologise. Even if you aren’t in the wrong, there is huge strength in offering an apology for upsetting someone else. Just because you did not intend to hurt someone does not mean that you didn’t. It takes courage and empathy – and you will feel so much better for it.

3. Don’t rush things. I remember being so anxious for my baby boy to crawl, to walk, to talk… and now that he does all those things I’m proud as punch! But I think to myself, why oh why was I in such a hurry? The joy is in the journey, and it’s important to stop and smell the roses. And the same goes for anything in life – the countdown to your big day, planning a special holiday. Enjoy the ride! In German there’s a saying; “Vorfreude ist die beste Freude” – and it’s so true. It literally translates to “The greatest joy is in the anticipation of what’s to come”. Ain’t that the truth! We all get a rosy glow when we are looking forward to something amazing. And how often do you count down to a fabulous night, and within minutes of arriving, there is already talk of the next event?! It’s because a lot of the joy is in the planning, and having something to look forward to. It keeps us hopping from one lily pad to the next, in this big lake we call life.

4. Appreciate what you have! We are always looking for what else we want, what we need next – whether it’s weddings, honeymoons, houses, cars or everyday life. So it’s quite a therapeutic thing to sometimes stop, look and enjoy everything you have already achieved. If you are planning a wedding, so what if you are on a budget? There’s plenty of ways of looking fancy without spending big dollars. It’s about imagination and passion. And there’s plenty of experts out there that can guide you.

5. “Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle.” Plato’s famous quote is one I constantly remind myself of. There are quite a few rude, nasty and sour faced people in this crazy world, and every now and then one of them crosses my path. But I try to remind myself that there is a reason they are like that, and most likely they are suffering and enduring something. And it’s most likely nothing to do with me. Most people are at their least loveable when they need the most love. A little compassion goes a long way. It makes you feel ugly inside to be mean, so that alone is enough to make me feel sorry for someone.

6. Confidence is the key to most things. I certainly haven’t always had it in great supply, what girl does? But over the years I’ve slowly amassed a little bit of life experience, and a certain self assurance comes with that. I can do this. I can survive in this crazy world. But when all else fails, if you can at least look and act confident, you can pull off almost anything! Trust yourself.

7. Not everyone is going to like you. No matter how hard you try. I have had a hard time with this one, as the more I sense someone doesn’t like me, the harder I work to win them over. But some people aren’t going to be won over – ever – and those are the ones that we need to let go. If you know you haven’t done anything wrong, then hold your head high and keep your pride in place. You are you, and there’s lots of people that will love you for that!

8. Trust your instincts. Many times our subconscious has already made a decision before we’ve caught up and made the same decision. It’s about finding the answer in your gut and going with that. Sometimes that might mean going out on a limb, way beyond your comfort zone and pushing yourself- but sometimes the scariest things are those that make us feel most alive.

9. Don’t buy the size you think you should be, but the size that looks best. In my time working in the retail industry as a student, I will never forget girls trying to squeeze themselves into sizes waaay too small, only because they want to say they are an 8, a 10, a 12 … whatever. The thing is, you can look a lot slimmer wearing a size bigger if it skims your body shape, rather than clings in the wrong places. No one is going to check your size label, ever. But they will remember how you looked! Every shop and garment makes things fit differently, so just because you are going up a size, doesn’t mean anything at all. Who cares what size you are? Rock the look and do your body proud. PS: On that note, don’t wear a strapless wedding dress unless you have the arms for it. Not everyone does, and there’s tons of other styles which look amazing- work with what you have and you will look and feel amazing! Don’t wear something just because it’s in fashion – it has to suit you and you have to feel good in it, or else you won’t have a good time. And what’s the point in that?

10. Love and respect those close to you. I am not sure why, but sometimes we are least nice to those we love most. We treat those we want to impress with the highest respect, but mums, dads, husbands and wives sometimes not so much… why? Oh, we take them for granted. Never take anyone or anything for granted… nothing is permanent in life, so make sure those you care about know it. And on that note, people will let you down. Even those you thought were “the best of friends” may end up hurting you. So even more reason to keep the bond tight with those you love most… they are the ones that will be there for you, unconditionally always.

Thank you for letting me share my list with you … there will be countless other things to add to it, every day for the rest of my life I imagine. What are some of your lessons? We’d love to hear about them… leave them in the comments section on Facebook!

“Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them” – Unknown

by Johanna Osborne

I get to write a lot of wonderful love stories for Mr & Mrs magazine and they are all unique and beautiful. There’s something so special about hearing about a couple’s journey to the altar, and it’s a true privilege for us to be allowed to share in their happiness, put it in print and pass it on to our readers to enjoy.

And whilst I take the time to really get a feel for our couples, there’s one couple I’m a little more familiar with than most. Who? Well the one I’m part of. You see, today, the 1st of October 2012 is a special day in my relationship. And I’d like to share a little about it with you today. 13 years ago on this very day, all the way back in 1999 (gasp, last century!) was the day, or should I say night, when my now-husband and I first kissed. To me that was possibly one of the most nerve-wrecking, earth shatteringly exciting, belly flipping moments of my life, right up there with actually walking down the aisle. We met at a very young age, I wasn’t even quite 22 yet, and he captured my attention like no other. We saw each other around and I would always swoon (internally of course, I was far too cool to visibly fawn over a guy). He had well and truly caught my eye and my heart, and yet we had never spoken a word to each other. Well apart from once when I served him in the clothing store I worked in. He came in, I got all flustered and told one of the girls I was working with “You serve him, I just can’t do it, I’m far too nervous!” I did end up accidentally being behind the till when it came time to pay, and I was all fumbling hands, shaky fingers and red face… it was not my finest moment.

Before we had ever exchanged words we had laid eyes on each other in various places, on the over-bridge at Victoria university, in the said clothing store, at various bars and clubs around town – never having said anything, yet some strange magnetic pull seemed to exist between us. Once I saw him a crowded bar and I squealed to my friends “Oh my God, there’s the guy I’m going to marry!” and they looked at me like I had well and truly lost my marbles. But perhaps that’s what they mean when they talk about fate and knowing when it’s “the one”. Then, once he and I did speak it was like we had never not talked, and the conversation flowed on from one night in a bar, to phone calls that would last until 3 or 4 am. My parents remarked they had never heard me laugh so loud or so much through the walls in the house (yes I was a student still living at home!) and immediately “he” – Stephen – had a small seal of approval for making me so happy – the remainder of which would be issued when he picked me up for our first date. Now my father, a great judge in character who was usually incredibly right about most people, was immediately fond of Stephen. And that’s saying something, as Stephen’s predecessor did not have the same luck. My Dad remarked to me that he found it incredibly chivalrous that Stephen would drive all the way from Miramar (where he lived with his parents, yes we were young!) to Pauatahanui (where I lived) – a good 30 minute trek, only to drive us both back into town where our first date would be (and many thereafter). Yes, Stephen insisted on picking me up, rather than asking me to meet him in town. That, my Dad thought, was already a good indicator that he was respectful. Not long after, Stephen and my Dad would bond over home brew, a love of fixing things and became good, fast friends who would often meet for coffee and draw grand plans on serviettes whilst drinking Mojo and eating Whitakers chocolate.

When I got into Stephen’s car I was astonished that it was so clean and tidy, and to me it was the coolest car in the world. I’m told it was a poo-brown cheap student car, but to me there was no car I’d rather be in. We drove, we chatted, we laughed. There was never any silence, and we stayed and talked at Parade Cafe until the lights turned off and we were politely shoved outside. Then we did what any young couple would do, we drove to the Lord of the Rings set (yes 1999 remember!) and we climbed, or clamoured ungracefully in heels in my case, up the steepest hills. Love is an amazing adrenalin giver that’s for sure. At the top we kissed Kate and Leo style whilst the wind was pummelling us, and again nothing could have been more romantic. Then we watched secretly as they filmed some amazing horse scene with Liv Tyler, until the security guards found us and asked us to leave.

That was the beginning of a whirlwind. We were never apart from that moment on, and we had countless experiences that still rate as the best in my life. We didn’t have much money, things were simple and yet some of the things were the most exciting I’ve ever done. We decided – spur of the moment of course – to go on a road trip and it was one of the best holidays of my life. The adventure, the adrenalin, the excitement, the unknown – it was all so heady, so thrilling and so scary. This was it. It was a big deal and it meant the world to me. The utter vulnerability of what might happen next is what made the ride such an incredible one. We met in October, by Christmas he had given me a special ring engraved with “Forever my Princess”. I still have that ring and always will.

Fast forward a few years and we moved in together, a few more and we got engaged. We bought our own place, lived life to the fullest with tons of holidays and indulgences. We knew how to have a good time (and still do) and perhaps that’s what binds us – our love of having fun and enjoying what life has to offer. In 2006 we were married and it was the very best wedding we could have had. Our families were there and the presence of them and the memories we made on that day will live on forever. In 2009 we had some very, very happy news – we were expecting our first child. Then in September of the same year, when I was 5 months pregnant the unthinkable happened, and my beloved father died suddenly and unexpectedly. Our world crumbled. I had always been the apple of my father’s eye and he the hero of my life. He was everything to me, to us and from one moment to the next I lost someone I loved very, very much. But the loss was not just mine. Stephen was as much affected as the rest of my family, for Stephen had become my Dad’s 2nd son over the 10 years they knew each other. It was a time that tested us more than I could ever put into words. Suffice to say Stephen was our family’s rock and navigated us through the storm, despite grieving himself. And out the other side a blessing came… our son Milan was born a few short months after, and he has and continues to bring light, joy, love and plenty of chaos into our everyday lives.

What have we learnt? Appreciate what you have, savour it, enjoy it. Take a lot of photos, capture the moments. There are so many things to be thankful for. People often ask me how we keep our love alive after 13 years of being together and I often struggle to answer… it comes naturally, but perhaps it’s because we are so well matched. I’m a bit highly strung and Stephen is relaxed, good natured and seems to put up with me. I keep him on task and motivated, and he keeps me from stressing out too much. Yin and yang. I was reminded once again how good we are together, how good he is, when the other day Stephen came home and gave me a hand cream. My puzzled expression must have said it all. “It’s for you, because I saw you squeezing the life out of your other one, so I thought I better get you a new one” he told me with a kind, serious face. The fact he thought to do that, and got both the brand and type right touched me immensely. Stephen is a busy guy, has a lot on his mind and plate, but he thinks of something so trivial… yet so incredibly meaningful.

I think I can say that I found my inner peace in the man I married, the man who is now his son’s hero, the man who would move heaven and earth for his little family. I know I am greatly loved, and there is incredible reassurance and comfort that comes with that. Flashback 13 years and if I could, I would tell my nervous giddy former self to brace herself for the ride of her life, and hang on tight to that soul mate that just walked into her life.

“True love stories never have endings.” Richard Bach

1999, on one of our first dates inside a little photo booth

by Johanna Osborne

The Emmys marked the first big event of Awards season, and we were of course beyond excited! It’s a treat watching Hollywood’s glitterati wowing us in their finery whilst designers the world over clamber to copy and create more affordable versions of the gorgeous gowns. It seems gunmetal was a big trend in the fashion stakes this time round, as were bold, bright statement colours.

All eyes were on the red carpet as the stars revealed their looks. Here are our favourites… some great inspiration for wedding, bridesmaids or special event dresses here!

Revenge has never been so sweet. Emily VanCamp has been taking red carpet by storm with her repeated classic, demure yet incredibly chic looks. This soft grey number is no exception. Emily is wearing a J. Mendel gown, Van Cleef and Arpels jewelry and carried a Judith Leiber clutch. Totally sold!

Pregnant and literally glowing in Lanvin, Claire Danes makes us want to go out and buy lots more yellow this season! Just gorgeous!

Another bright spark! Julie Bowen looks striking in her fitted neon Monique L’huillier dress.

Allison Williams is perfect in peplum in this forest green Oscar de La Renta dress

Heidi has still got it! Seal eat your heart out... The German supermodel looks anything but blue in her pastel Alexandre Vauthier gown with Lorraine Schwartz jewels

Raven haired Mad Men beauty Jessica Paré looked glamorous in a custom white Jason Wu gown on the red carpet. Love the pop of green on her finger!

Oh our fave! Connie Britton (star of the insanely addictive American Horror Story) looks totally amazing. Love love love the gunmetal. It’s an Andrew GN gown and Sutra jewels!

Actually fellow American Horror Story Actress Kate Mara might have just stolen the best dressed award from Connie Britton. This Badgley Mischka dress is to die for!

Loving Ashlee Simpson’s vintage glamour dress – the detailing is divine!

Georgia King rocks this sparkly number to perfection. Sorry Connie and Kate, think we have found our ultimate favourite!

by Johanna Osborne

We are so thrilled the Spring Wedding Show was a huge hit and we loved every bustling minute of it. People flooded through the doors and the exhibitors enjoyed welcoming and showing them a little slice of their business.

And today that’s what we want to acknowledge, just how amazing these businesses are. I for one find the prospect of creating something exceptional within the confines of a few square metres extremely daunting. But there are some amazing people who can work magic within a few hours, and transform a bare cube into something spectacular, which represents their business to a T and gives those that don’t know anything about them a real feel for what it is they represent. It’s an art and our exhibitors are true masters of their craft!

As I strolled around the Wellington Wedding Show I was truly blown away by the original and striking displays, and I wasn’t alone. Our entire team, and especially Paula, were incredibly impressed with everyone’s creativity, imagination and effort.

A lot of visitors on the day commented that they loved not only the pretty stands but also the interactive nature. There were plenty of options to try, see, touch, taste, smell and feel what was on offer and it made for a fun experience for everyone.

So today we give a little shout out to all those talented people who did their businesses proud! See for yourself – here are the winners of each category (as chosen by our secret under-cover judges on the day). Our roving photographer Jess O’Brien captured the below images for you to enjoy…

Until next time!

Winner of A to B Category: Tranzit

Capture: Inspire Photography

Cuisine: The Couture Candy Company

Entertainment: The Amazing Travelling Photobooth

Fashion: Astra Bridal

Goodies: Cherry Tree

Pamper: Miranda Millen

Setting: Ohariu Farm

Style: The Piccadilly Flower Company

The Knot: Mary Rice Hooper

Travel: Experience Rarotonga

The best overall stand: Heirloom Vintage Tableware

by Johanna Osborne

The Wellington Wedding Show is a big deal. It’s all about any months of planning, long weeks of preparation and numerous days of fine tuning all the details. It’s a huge event, and the very hard working Paula Bevege and her dedicated team certainly go the extra mile to make sure it’s everything we promise it will be!

Behind the scenes there’s a lot of liaising, ordering, problem solving, packing and unpacking, heavy lifting, not to mention finding enough Velcro dots and staple guns and trolleys to go round – it’s madness really! The list of tasks is endless… but for those walking through the door, it’s nothing but one giant wedding party with tons on offer and a selection to make you weak at the knees. Exactly as it should be! And all the amazingly positive feedback from both visitors and exhibitors on the day and via Facebook, phone calls and email in the last 2 days has made us realise just how important and special this event is to so many people. The Wellington Wedding Show is better than ever, and people are absolutely loving it. And that makes us incredibly happy and proud.

Twice a year New Zealand’s finest wedding specialists gather here in Wellington to take part in what is now a staple in every bride-to-be’s diary. It’s a super fun day with an opportunity to share information and learn about the best suppliers available in this increasingly competitive wedding market.

I was stationed at our Mr & Mrs stand. Mr & Mrs is the official magazine of the Wellington Wedding Show, and it was with great pleasure and honour that we debuted issue 3 to the brides and grooms that came through the door. Everyone got at least one copy, but many asked for several more- we don’t blame them! We had some truly lovely feedback on the magazine, and it was so nice to spot people reading it whilst sipping a cup of coffee during a well earned rest at the cafe, before continuing on their way around the Old Town Hall.

We had lots and lots of wonderful prizes to give out at our Mr and Mrs magazine stand, and I must say, that was a true joy for me! People were simply blown away with the quality of the goodies! We had gorgeous Antipodes face care packs, lovely wine, delicious chocolates, men’s’ aftershave, a fantastic photo shoot voucher from Meeko & Redge Photography, and a yummy 2 course lunch voucher from Peppers Parehua in Martinborough. There were many, many happy people and we have the photos to prove it! Some of the prizes were given out via a Facebook competition we had run in the days leading up to the show, others were awarded via heart, star or clover wand on the spot whilst people were looking around on Sunday. It was a delight seeing people who say they don’t normally win anything, get something they truly loved and treasured.

And whilst the Mr & Mrs stand was certainly buzzing with excitement, the fun didn’t stop there. I was flanked by party central – to my right was Dion from the Amazing Travelling Photobooth who had the exact replica of our magazine cover as the backdrop for his photos, and once again his booth was a people magnet with everyone lining up to get their fun shots. You can see lots of them on our Facebook page (Wellington Wedding show). To my left was Jono Tucker’s video stand with couples given the opportunity to record a message offering their best wedding advice to win one of 2 bottles of gorgeous French champagne. It was fantastic seeing everyone get into the spirit of it.

I was pretty flat out at my stand, but when I did escape to have a look around the Old Town Hall it was one big happy hive of activity with couples enjoying making contact with such wonderful suppliers and really soaking up the advice and inspiration on offer. The stands were so impressive – exhibitors really had gone above and beyond to create a small slice of what their business/service feels like and can offer, and we can’t applaud them enough in this stellar effort. Phenomenal creativity and effort went into it and it was certainly recognised and appreciated. Many stall holders were awarded a prize for their amazing efforts, and Susan Hesp from Heirloom Vintage Tableware truly did deserve the Overall Winner with her amazing table set up. I hope everyone got to check out the High Tea offer in conjunction with Simply Food – sounds like a dream package to me!

At the end of the day it was fair to say we were all pretty happy and suitably tired, but in a good and satisfied way. And now with the end of one show comes the beginning of another… we are already planning 2013’s autumn show… it will be a biggie and we will announce the date soon.

In the meantime stay tuned into our Facebook and Twitter pages and our blog… we love staying in touch with you and hearing what you think. Didn’t get a copy of Mr & Mrs #3?? I’ll be your fairy godmother and send you a copy at your request – email me! [email protected]
And of course check out the awesome photos of what can only be described as an amazing day…

Our Mr & Mrs magazine stand, ready and waiting

Ready for action, complete with prize table!

Prizes galore!! So fab!

Paula Bevege Events - Paula's own event planning and styling business. Divine!

Backstage beauties – Paula having her hair done by the amazing Miranda Millen

Me with Blair and Roger O’Neill – aka Paula’s husband and father-in-law!

Beautiful Belinda makes quite the stunning ticket sales girl

Paula takes to the stage to welcome all the exhibitors for the day

There were queues and crowds – lots of people wanted to check out our Show!

More eager brides and grooms shopping for ideas

The first of many couples “going for a spin” in the Amazing Travelling Photobooth

Our designer Craig from Graphic Solutions working his magic

2 lovely vibrant Mr & Mrs stand visitors

A very sweet couple who visited our stand early in the day

These 2 were perhaps the show’s youngest engaged pair at only 21 years old and tying the knot in record-breaking time – only weeks until their wedding! Exciting!

Proud Antipodes Prize Winners! This wedding will be a family affair with the flower girl looking forward to her important job

More happy (and snuggly!) Antipodes price pack winners!

Nothing like winning amazing skincare!

2 pretty stand visitors

Family fun time at the Wellington Wedding Show – something tells me this is going to be one hell of an awesome wedding!

The bride in blue plans to tie the knot on the gorgeous Kapiti Coast

A picture perfect couple – perhaps you will see them in Mr & Mrs magazine in the future?

Mother of the bride and the bride to be – what a delightful outing to share!

A wonderful wand-wielding winner! A gorgeous Antipodes pack choc-a-block with amazing goodies – how lucky!

What a lovely and well deserving winning couple!

It wasn’t hard to win on Sunday!

Happy prize recipients

A happy young man (and his gorgeous fiancée) who won an aftershave prize! We look after the men too!

More Facebook competition winners

Another happy aftershave winner

A nicely matching couple enjoying their win

The men’s prizes were almost as good as the women’s – and that’s saying something!

Jono Tucker’s able-assistant doing a great job on the video booth – French champagne – ooh la la!

A most lovely couple who won their prize via our Facebook competition in the days leading up to the show

Happy Antipodes girls

Hip hip hooray!

Bright pants, big smiles, primo prize

Mother + bride + mother-in-law = fun outing! Especially if you win an Antipodes pack too!

Big smile– we love it!

Mr & Mrs magazine was a big attraction for many couples

These 2 couldn’t believe their luck!

Paula in a rare moment of tranquillity with her daughter Rose

Chuffed prize winners

Another happy couple! Wine was the prize this time!

Wine winner!

Antipodes products are amazing!

My cookie supply really started to dwindle when these 3 showed up!

Dion and his assistant taking a turn in the Mr & Mrs mobile!

What lovely girls! Sisters in law – Trudi tying the knot in the Gold Coast in a few weeks and the whole family is going!

Jemma looking towards Mr & Mrs 3 for inspiration for her own upcoming wedding

Up up and away! If you use Antipodes you too could have skin this young!

Post show drinks - wow!

See you soon! Planning for the Autumn Show is already under way!