by Johanna Osborne

There was a time when it was expected that a couple getting married would aim to start a family as soon as possible. And that’s still how many of us like to think. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. After all, what’s more wonderful than seeing a beautiful baby blossom as a result of your love? Wowee- your very own child! Within seconds of holding your baby in your arms, it becomes the most precious thing in the world to you. It’s the beginning of priceless shared moments – it’s the start of your very own family. Celebrations and events suddenly take on more meaning, joy is suddenly found in places where you never thought to look. Simple things provide pleasure and the selflessness you adopt is liberating. Yes, children and all they symbolise certainly bring enormous happiness and fulfilment to our lives.

So why are more and more people opting to have children later or not at all? Many can’t understand this new trend – after all, why wouldn’t you want to do what we were put on this earth for: to procreate and keep our species alive? Some people just don’t have the natural urge or instinct to become a parent. Some people choose not to have kids. And that’s quite alright too.

My husband and I waited 4 years after getting married to have a child. And it was a total of 10 years of being together before we felt ready to take that leap. And whilst we totally adore our son and our entire world now revolves around him, I completely understand why parenthood might not be for everyone. To be honest, until my baby boy came along, I didn’t really like children all that much. They just seemed messy, annoying and their vegemite fingers were a hazard to my pristine white coat and fancy pastel coloured dresses. Does that make me sound evil?

I’ve always been of the opinion that in order to be the best you can be for your child, you must have everything you need to feel good in yourself. And for us that was life experience. It was about wonderful travel, lovely hotels, scrumptious dinners out eaten at leisure, cinema visits – lots of them, sleeping in at weekends and lazing around in PJs all day on a Sunday if I felt like it, long, uninterrupted shopping trips… it was a glorious life and I lived it. And I lived it well. Being self indulgent and hedonistic was amazing. I loved every second of it and don’t regret a moment. And I can totally see why some people don’t ever see any reason to change their lifestyle. Some may opt to focus instead hard on their career and use their down time to reward themselves. And if that’s what they feel is right for them, then that’s absolutely the right thing to do. There is nothing worse than society’s pressure to do what’s expected. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. Other people’s opinions (except your partner’s of course) shouldn’t be a factor. I remember receiving more than a few gentle suggestions and prods re starting a family, and whilst they were in good spirit and well intended, I did at times feel slightly under pressure. But as I like to make my own decisions, I waited until I was ready, not when everyone else was.

And so it happened that my son entered the world at the best time he could have arrived… he was a true blessing and brought with him a happiness and love that we had never felt before. Suddenly he was here, and it was amazing. Did I change from one moment to the next? Not really. I was still me and always will be. The things that were important to me, like waking up, showering, getting dressed and looking presentable, seeing my friends, going shopping, taking time to myself, having lots of sleep… all those things were so important to me, and whilst I certainly needed to compromise, I early on instilled that those things would still be part of my life. I wasn’t going to lose what I needed in order to feel complete. I was not about to unravel and leave the house without brushing my hair. And it works. I haven’t lost myself in becoming a parent – if anything I have gained so much. I am more humble, practical, realistic and down to earth. Probably a lot more likeable than I was before, if I am to be honest. I have learnt skills that I never knew I had, and I am more confident. I guess I have finally grown up, and I have my son to thank for that. He has taught me not to be embarrassed so easily, which has stood me in good stead when he’s thrown monster tantrums in crowded stores, and I’ve learnt not to care about the staring, judging faces. People are often surprised at how frank and honest I am about the hardships of parenthood and the struggles us Mummies face, but if I can’t be honest about that, then I’m only kidding myself. Yes, there are days and moments where strapping a toddler who is arching his back and fighting me tooth and nail into a car seat seems like an insurmountable task, but when he’s all gooey and smiley in my arms, and sings his own off-tune version of ‘twinkle twinkle little star’, I just melt. He’s mine and I would move heaven and earth for him. Nothing or no one is more important. All the things that mattered before, whilst still important, are now in a different ranking order. He is first and foremost. Always. And I don’t feel like I’m missing out on a thing. Perhaps it’s because instead of looking for “happy”, I have found it. In fact it’s sleeping soundly right now in its bed, and it will wake again tomorrow morning with a big bright “good morning mama!”.

I’ve also redeemed myself – I’ve gone from being like something out of ‘The Witches’ to becoming rather popular with the under 5 set. For some reason children seem to like me, and it stands me in great stead in the playground. Milan’s mummy always has nice snacks and is immature enough to play silly games at the drop of a hat.

Life is hard and children take –and deserve – time. My child is a handful but I do believe in the saying that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. Children enter our lives for a reason and should be loved to an inch of their life. They are the most precious we will ever care for, and every child has a right to be loved and looked after well. But that’s a big commitment and not everyone wants that. And that’s a choice, one which deserves enormous respect. I know if I had not had a child I would have led a very happy life. Now that I have my son I couldn’t and wouldn’t imagine it any differently, but there are two sides to every coin and everyone has the right to choose.

What am I trying to say today? I get it. I know it’s hard. Women who want it all and see others who do. But it’s not as easy as it looks. And parenthood is a journey not everyone wants to take. Relationships can be hard enough, and whilst the love of a child can solidify it, kids can also sorely test you as a couple. My advice: follow what your heart tells you. Deep inside you know the answer… do what’s right for you, not what you think you should be doing. When all is said and done, it’s about you and your husband and the life you make together. And whatever journey that might be, it’s bound to be a great one!

“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.” Henry David Thoreau.

by Johanna Osborne

It was the late 60s in southern Germany and Alois was performing with his band ‘The Red Stars’ at a local nightclub. Renate, unwillingly, was dragged out by her friends that night. Despite her reluctance to go, she looked stunning in a fitted turquoise mini-dress with her dark hair in pretty waves. She immediately caught Alois’ eye, and after his set he joined her table. There was an immediate spark. They married on Valentine’s Day 1970, and not long after their son (who was to be my older brother) was born. I love romance, I love love and there is just no date more romantic for a wedding than Valentine’s Day!

And whilst we can’t all have the 14th February as our (hard to forget!) wedding anniversary, we can still celebrate it. And why not?! If you count birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries, then that still leaves 362 days of the year that are still crying out for some sort of romantic spark. At least one of those- just one – can justify a little fuss on Valentine’s Day!

So what to do? How to celebrate? However big or small there are many tasteful and classy options to express love. Just put your heart into it, make it personal and it will mean something.

Right now we are loving…

Romantic rendezvous!

And you don’t have to go far! If you remember the awesome Wellington ad, you can have an affair with your very own home town by spicing it up, with the likes of a night dining and luxuriating overnight at the Bolton Hotel, The Amora Wellington or The Wellesley Boutique Hotel. All of these offer incredible accommodation, as well as magnificent dining options. You will feel like you have gone a long way from every-day life without the travel time! And better yet, roll up behind dark tinted windows and get out of the car to gawking onlookers with their jaws on the floor, in one of Executive Limos’ stylish cars, perhaps even a Hummer?!

But if it’s a change of scenery altogether you crave, then look no further than the friendly “coast”, namely the one and only Wairarapa. People travel across the globe to visit the rugged coastline, and for us it’s a mere hop and skip away. Parehua, Wharekauhau and the Martinborough Hotel are just some of the treasures that await on the other side of that big hill, and each promise luxury, indulgence and bliss. Why not take your lover for a weekend away, stay at one of these gorgeous places, and have a decadent lunch at Coney Wines while you are at it? Sound good? Thought so. At this time of the year terrific Taupo is also divine, and there are few destinations more decadent than Huka Falls Resort or the gorgeous new Hilton. Pay a visit and come home all shiny and new. And what better backdrop for a romantic dinner (and perhaps proposal) than Huka’s breathtaking outdoor dining area?

Decadent dining

If staying the night isn’t possible, you can always make the night count before you turn into a pumpkin. And what better places to wine and dine the love of your life than in Wellington’s finest establishments. Spoilt for choice, we think D4, Dockside, Foxglove and of course the always popular Whitehouse are spot-on for making an impression, and more importantly memories to treasure.

Pamper pamper

Most men have twigged on to the fact that a little pamper goes a long way. So sending your lady to the likes of Salute Day Spa will earn you massive brownie points! A friend of mine recently enjoyed a wonderful day there courtesy of her thoughtful husband, and sampled several of the amazing treatments on offer. She certainly left there a happier version of her former self! We also love Lush Lashes, and as everyone knows, if you feel good – you look good. No mascara needed, the team will give you instant doe-eyes that will attract no end of compliments. And of course let’s not forget the all important nails! The Finishing Touch will take care of you with top-of-the-range manicures and pedicures, as well as plenty of other divine treatment options in store as well.

Shimmer and sparkle

Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity for sparkly baubles that speak a thousand words. Find something for everyone at Tory and Ko, Hanne Andersen and Alison Blain. All of these stores offer stunning pieces in unique styles. Personalise your gift and have these talented people custom make something just for your loved one!

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And there we have it. A few of our favourite Valentines Gift ideas! But remember, the best gift of all is expressing your love, being kind and making the person you care about feel special. Breakfast in bed, a small posy of pretty flowers (or a six pack of some tasty beers!) some one-on-one time, or sweet notes hidden in your lover’s bag or wallet also go a long way in putting a smile on their face.

by Johanna Osborne

My computer screen almost combusted yesterday afternoon with more glamour than it could possibly handle on a dreary grey Wellington Monday. In a galaxy far, far away by the name of Hollywood, the 70th Annual Golden Globes took place at the Beverly Hilton. And whilst I have very little idea who actually took a Globe home (besides the divine Jennifer Lawrence of course), I can tell you who I think looked smoking hot!

Everyone knows the Globes are just the entree to whet the appetite with many more exciting awards shows to come, with the big Kahuna – the Oscars – rapidly approaching in February! If this is the first course, we can’t wait to see what the main dish is!

Here are some of our faves from yesterdays Globes hot off the press … what do you think? Agree? Love/hate? Did we forget anyone? Let us know in the comments.

The divine Miss Jessica Alba was a tangerine dream in a silk Oscar de la Renta gown paired with Harry Winston jewellery and a Roger Vivier clutch. She is one classy lady – so elegant.

Orlando Bloom could not keep his eyes off his stunning Victoria’s Secret Model wife Miranda Kerr – rumors of trouble in paradise seem to be just that.

Catherine Zeta Jones was an announcer and looked stunning! One of the top picks of the night. The light pink flutter sleeve evening gown with silver beading by Jenny Packham really off-set her dark hair beautifully

This on trend cut-out Michael Kors dress was the perfect accent to Emily’s golden holiday tan – she’s fresh from her Mexican vacation with bff Jennifer Aniston and fiance Justin Theroux

Kerry Washington in Miu Miu was a favourite with most critics and has topped best dressed lists the world over in the mere few hours since the Globes aired. So sleek, so angelic, so stunning. Big applause!

La Lopez never does wrong. The 43-year-old singer/actor/mother wore a Zuhair Murad long-sleeve silk gown featuring an ivory embroidered lace overlay with beading detail, Christian Louboutin shoes, a Jimmy Choo bag, and Le Vian jewels. Wow!

Borat’s real life wife, Isla Fisher was first famous through her stint on Home and Away. The now 36-year-old actress (and mother of 2 daughters) wore a Reem Acra dress, Casadei shoes, her own earrings, a Van Cleef ring and bracelets, and a Rodo bag. The dress is heavenly, the bag does not match – at all!

22-years years old and a Golden Globe winner! And not only that, the Hunger Games actress is also up for 2 Oscars as well! The divine Jennifer Lawrence wore a Christian Dior Haute Couture dress with Brian Atwood shoes, and completed her look with Chopard jewellery and a Ferragamo clutch. We love the bright colour and how it complements her complexion and hair colour. This is a girl to watch.

That’s one way to make mothers the world over turn green! New Mum Megan Fox debuts her post-baby body looking gorgeous in Dolce & Gabbana, Jimmy Choo shoes, Lorraine Schwartz jewels, and a Salvatore Ferragamo clutch. Big statement earrings are definitely a huge trend this awards season. We just love her vampy look.

OMG! We saved the best to last! Kate Hudson in Alexander McQueen –gasp! Kate is like a fine wine, this girl is only just getting started! But then again with her Mum’s DNA and her sizeable bank account we expect no less from the gorgeous Mum of 2 boys.

by Johanna Osborne

Many of us get so caught up in planning an amazing wedding (and rightly so!) that we forget what comes afterwards. The honeymoon? Well that too, (again très important!) but something else … namely, “the marriage”.

My husband and I celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary over the weekend and I could hardly believe it’s been nearly a decade since that fateful day when we tied the knot. My friends often tell me that we look happy and ask what our secret is. It’s immensely flattering, but I can’t for the life of me give any pointers. All I can say is that you do your best, never lose sight of what’s important, respect each other and don’t be too proud to admit you are wrong. So far that’s got us through, but of course when you are talking about the most precious commodity of all – love and marriage – it pays to see what the experts have to say. So here goes…

What is the secret to a long lasting happy marriage? Someone who knows a thing or two, the ueber-wise Dalai Lama, has often shared his views on the merits of a good, long lasting marriage; “Too many people in the West have given up on marriage. They don’t understand that it is about developing a mutual admiration of someone, a deep respect and trust and awareness of another human’s needs…The new easy-come, easy-go relationships give us more freedom — but less contentment.”

I think he might be on to something there. Back in the olden days marriages were built to last, so perhaps if we look back at how people thought then, we can find some answers there.

The secret, it seems, is to continue – or perhaps even revive – your courtship. According to the experts, successful marriages don’t just happen, they have to be encouraged and allowed to flourish. Taking each other for granted is an easy trap to fall into, and one that can lead to a dangerous road – as the monotony that results can damage a relationship. As the famous saying goes; “Familiarity breeds contempt”, so focus on keeping your love alive by remembering to express how much you care about each other, whilst keeping things fresh, interesting and exciting. Relationship expert Dr Anna Wood says; “Love and happiness are not found by seeking them for yourself, but rather by giving them to others. It’s a good idea to spend as much time as possible doing things together that you both enjoy. Learn to greet each other with enthusiasm. Relax, visit, shop, sight-see, eat together. Don’t overlook the little courtesies, encouragements, and affectionate acts. Surprise each other with little gifts. Try to “out-love” each other. Don’t take more out of marriage than you put into it. Divorce itself is not the greatest destroyer of marriage, but rather, lack of love. Given a chance, love always wins.”

So it really does come down to simple things. Keep laughter alive. Crack up and have a good old belly laugh together. There are few things that bond you more. Continue to “date” – each other, of course! Go out, dress up, be waited on. It’s miraculous how much more focused you become on each other without the distractions of home around you. Celebrate the small things and share in each other’s joys. Honestly put, if we just express the same amount of excitement, caring and love for our partners that we do for our friends, then we are already half way there.

Whilst we haven’t uncovered any great mysteries today, it’s always good to be reminded of the little things that are so important, yet so easy to forget. Listen, show interest, say thank you and be kind … it’s the small things in life that go a long, long way… and at the end of the day when you are in your rocking chair 50 years from now, you want your husband or wife to be the best friend sitting by your side, admiring and loving you in all your wrinkly glory. Because that’s what true love is. You won’t remember the tiny details from the past, who scored in the footie, what that phone call was about or whatever else seemed so important at the time, all you will remember is who was there for you when you needed it most. And that should always be your husband or wife.

Conclusion – much like we take style cues from vintage fashion, so too it seems we should take a more old-school approach to modern love. An approach where you put the effort in and don’t give up; where love conquers all. And so what if it’s not perfect and you fight and you have problems? That’s life. The strength is in working it out and being humble enough to admit you made a mistake, and strong enough to want to fix it. As the famous saying goes, holding a grudge is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die… it’s counter-productive. Work together and you will see wonderful results. So cheers to all of us and the long path to our golden wedding anniversaries; no marriage is perfect, but it can be perfectly imperfect!

“Love doesn’t sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new.” -Ursula K. Le Guin

by Johanna Osborne

Today I came across a quote that I absolutely love; “What a wonderful thought it is, that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet.” Oh, how very true indeed!

And that’s exactly the spirit with which I plan to approach my 2013. Rather than make resolutions I can’t keep, or try and set rules for myself that I will no doubt break, I think the significance of starting a new year is much more in the way with which you tackle what life gives you. After all, as they say, life is like a coin, and you choose how you spend it – but you can spend it only once. So it makes sense to make the moments count and appreciate everything good that comes our way.

I believe in wishes, and some of my biggest ones have been eerily fulfilled almost exactly like I imagined. Since childhood I’ve always been a fan of putting oomph into my nice big birthday wishes as I blew out my candles, with eyes firmly closed. And to this day I still carry on a childhood tradition my mother taught me; namely making a wish on every single eyelash I lose (and find). I close my eyes, make a wish and blow it away. And of course shooting stars, should I be so lucky as to spot one, I always make a nice big hearty wish on those too. And have those wishes all come true? Mostly, yes.

You see, I believe the harder you wish, the more likely they are to come true. My first example of this was the small red leather handbag with gold clasp that I wished and wished and wished for when I was only 5 years old. And in pre-birthday snooping I discovered this little shiny treasure silently sitting and waiting in my brother’s desk drawer, and I felt a huge pang of excitement and a massive hit of guilt all at the same time. I was getting what was – at the time – my biggest dream and I knew all about it, but couldn’t say a word. My, that was hard! My wishes have changed somewhat since then, but the concept is the same. Believe that you will get what you want and deserve, and it will most certainly come to you. And if it doesn’t, well there’s always more wishes where the last ones came from. You have infinite supply, but use them wisely anyway, for making good solid wishes is exhausting work.

It may sound rather childlike and naive to “wish” for things, but I can’t help but think if more people tried it there would be more hope in the world. Something to wish for and the joy and anticipation that comes with that is invaluable, especially during harder times. Positive thinking never hurt anyone and if the theories in ‘The Secret’ are to be believed, then we must all nix those doubts and worries at once. Thinking good things will make us do good things and in turn attract good things into our life. So simple, yet why does it seem so hard sometimes?!

Whatever and however you are starting your 2013 we would like to wish you good things too, may they follow you to your wedding day, on your honeymoon and well into the future where they shall bless your married life always. May you forever wish on birthday cakes, shooting stars and stray eyelashes. May you never lose the magic and wonder that is present in the concept of wishing and may it not only be reserved for Birthdays and Christmas.

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”
Myrko Thum