by Paula Bevege

I would like to extend a huge THANK YOU to all the amazing people involved in last Monday’s wedding. When we were approached by Positively Wellington Tourism to provide the wedding for Trent and Paul I knew it was great opportunity for THE WELLINGTON WEDDING SHOW to show the rest of the world how great Wellington Weddings are.

So who helped us? So many of you …

Special mention goes to:

Our 2 beauty teams who made everyone look amazing, Salute and Dara Wakely, no easy task on a very early Monday morning with a lot of tired people!

Brad from Frank Casey who managed to help the boys even when his store as closed after the earthquakes on Friday, making a special trip in on Sunday to open up for us.

Aneta and Jason from WE DO, who not only did the photography but also all the amazing design work – all with a gorgeous new baby girl. The stationery was no easy task with so many important people and details involved, but nothing was a problem for Aneta. (Te Papa have even kept one of the order of service for their items of historical importance collection!)

Jono and Hamish from Jono Tucker Photography, who captured the whole day and produced a stunning movie that made me cry. Jono, Jason and Aneta even made time to have breakfast with Trent and Paul on Friday morning, just so they could get to know them better. Jason and Aneta covered the reception and creative location shoots and the images I have seen so far are amazing!

Penny from Inspire also shot beautiful photographs, many of which you have already seen. Penny attended our very moving rehearsal with a full traditional Maori welcome on Sunday night and was then up and ready at 6.30am to capture all the preparations. She then had to battle the small army of other press to cover the ceremony and family images only to go back to the studio to be able to release the images the same afternoon!

Penny from Eastbourne Classic Cars was up bright and early to contend with the morning traffic and deliver the boys in style.

Vintage and Pretty did an amazing job, providing a gorgeous setting at the ceremony for the drinks and canapés after the ceremony.

Our very good friend Steve Carlin was there to do this crooner set, singing a moving rendition of Paul and Trents favourite song “Girl from Ipanema”.

Sarah and Wayne from Horrobin and Hodge made our ceremony and reception absolutely stunning, Trent and Paul where speechless. Martin Bosley even commented it was one of the best wedding tables he had ever seen! Sarah is super talented – her love of flowers and everything botanical really does show in her work, AMAZING!

Our Candy Buffet by the super talented Jodie from Couture Candy Buffet was also one of the big hits on the day. Not only did it look amazing, we had enough sweet treats for 80 people, but I can assure you there wasn’t much spare, as each guest left clutching a small bags of goodies. Our friends at Positively Wellington and New Zealand Tourism particularly enjoyed the treats.

The Amazing Travelling photobooth kept the good times rolling with our guests loving the dress up props and fun photos.

The professional and obliging team at Te Papa were super helpful with our late night pack-in, making the whole experience a pleasurable one.

No one would expect anything less than perfection at Martin Bosley’s and we were not disappointed. I was lucky enough to enjoy the full menu; each course a superb culinary experience, the crème brûlée was to die for! Kelly and service team were amazing with our very late pack-in after a super busy week for them with Wellington on a plate commitments. We started setting up the reception after dinner service ceased on Sunday night, and we finished in the wee small hours!

Tanya from Decorada made an absolutely beautiful cake for us, she brings a new meaning to the word chic, and the chocolate mud cake was delicious.

As a planner you know that your wedding is only as good as the suppliers you select. I certainly picked a pretty special bunch this time, and was super proud of everyone’s professionalism, commitment and dedication. I am very honoured to be able to work with such amazing people! Please know how important you were and what a difference you made.

And finally, a special thanks to Jessica and Jess from Positively Wellington Tourism, it has been such an honour working with you.

Love Paula x

by Johanna Osborne

August 19th 2013

(image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

8.30am on an ordinary Monday winter’s morning. But it really wasn’t that ordinary at all. Firstly the sun was shining like it was the middle of summer, and there was a group of 20 or so rather conspicuously glamorous people crossing the road from the Museum Art Hotel, in the direction of Te Papa. Dressed to the nines in heels, gowns and suits and with an air of ceremony they strode purposely towards Te Papa. Who were they? Having made the journey with Trent and Paul from Australia, these were the nearest and dearest in these 2 men’s lives –their treasured friends and family and their biggest supporters. Serious yet happy, Trent and bestman Jason were ensconced in the middle of the procession, their radiant skin and impeccable suits giving them away to onlookers, whilst the 2nd groom Paul quickly zoomed away to get the all important marriage license! At the head of the group, Paula Bevege, leading this grand wedding party towards a place where a milestone was to be reached and history made – the beautiful Te Marae in Papa Tongarewa.

Our ascent into Te Papa’s grand building was meaningful and touching. Hushed tones and awed silence filled the foyer as we entered, knowing we would walk out having changed the past forever. We were greeted by a traditional Maori welcome and beautiful garlands pointing the way towards the grand room, which awaited us bathed in warm sunlight. We walked in to see Te Marae’s stain glass windows reflecting Wellington’s early morning sunshine beautifully around the large space, and spreading a grand sense of occasion with it. It was almost surreal. Something big was about to go down and even nature seemed to know it. Rich with culture, it was clear to see why Te Marae was chosen as the ideal location for Trent and Paul’s ceremony, and it certainly did not disappoint. Vintage and Pretty had also decorated the space beautifully adding a touch of old school class to an already stunning room.

As we waited for the grooms to make their entrance and the media to gather I had some time to chat with Paul’s wonderful family. His mother Anne could not have been prouder, beaming with excitement and joy at her son’s big day. Even losing her handbag a few days before departure (which contained her passport!) did not thwart her attempts to be present all the way from Newcastle, and along with other family members she flew in the day before the nuptials, bright, fresh and ready to give her son away to the man he loves. Sister Sara, husband Mick and nephew Jacob Whale also spoke fondly of Trent and Paul, and what a wonderful couple these two have always made; “Ever since I was young, it was always Trent and Paul as a couple. They are the coolest, kindest and most fun couple I know. Being here today to see them get married is a dream come true for all of us.”

Violinist Elena marked the beginning of the ceremony with her hauntingly beautiful music, leading Paul and his mother Anne (who by all accounts was shaking with nerves and excitement!) down the aisle. The entrance was very special and all guests were hushed in anticipation. What followed can only be described as beautiful, meaningful and touching. Presided over by Kerry Prendergast, the official ceremony was simply wonderful. Paul and Trent’s love for one another was evident as their eyes met, as was their gratitude at finally being able to express their love this way. Despite there being many media outlets present, the ceremony felt personal, intimate and very precious. The men spoke to each other and took time to say exactly what was important. Trent and Paul’s vows were movingly personalised and they had obviously taken a lot of thought and time to perfect them. Paul’s were filled with promises with the last one being “I promise you to always love you.” I personally felt incredibly lucky to sit and witness something as significant as this, and to be allowed to share in this momentous occasion.

It was most certainly a day of freedom and liberation. Paul commented later to the media; ”I didn’t realise how much the inequality must have been eating away at me. Until a right is denied you don’t know you’re missing it.” As the pair commenced their first walk down the aisle and the media’s cameras furiously clicked, the pride and sense of victory was evident not only in the grooms faces but in the eyes of everyone in the room. Trent shared with the media; ”I felt a great sense of honour, and for New Zealand to be standing behind me and us, saying we believe in you and all you are.”

As Trent and Paul posed for more photographs and undertook further media interviews (which they handled like the champs they are), divine hors-d’oeuvres including apple turnovers with puff pastry, fruit kebabs as well as champagne and juice was handed around to the awe-struck and deeply moved guests. Steve the Crooner ensured the atmosphere stayed jovial with his lovely tones.

This was a big deal and how lucky were we to have shared in this experience! Everything was perfect, the decorations, food, ambience, and it was no wonder it was all planned to a T… Paula Bevege had stayed up until 2am the night before ensuring everything was perfect at Te Papa, Martin Bosley’s and of course also at The Museum Hotel for the early morning beautifying session for all the bridal party, courtesy of Salute Hair and Day Spa. Paula had put her impeccable final touches on everything and it all had the Paula Bevege Events seal of approval. She did an exemplary job!

After the formal proceedings, the wedding party joyfully jumped into powder blue vintage Eastbourne Classic Cars and made their way to Martin Bosley’s restaurant, where fine fare was served with the Wellington’s beautiful harbour resplendent in sunlight, making for a perfect backdrop to the celebration and laughter that followed in bounds. Decorada’s cake aptly topped with Lego grooms (the pair is a big fan of Lego) was cut to many cheers and glasses were clinking for several hours. Horrobin and Hodge had transformed the reception area into a stylish and unique setting especially for Trent and Paul’s festivities. A grand Candy Buffet from the Couture Candy Buffet enticed guests as they carried on celebrating this extraordinary event well into the day. A day we are so glad and fortunate to have shared with you, thank you Trent and Paul. You have paved the way! The future has begun and you have led the way. We could not have been prouder to stand behind you today, and will always continue to do so.

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” – Dr Seuss

Scroll down for some of Johanna’s informal “snapshots” as well as some stunning photos from Penny at Inspire Photography

• Ceremony at Museum of NZ: Te Papa Tongarewa, in Te Marae
• Reception: Martin Bosley’s
• Celebrant: Kerry Prendergast
• Wedding Planner: Paula Bevege, Paula Bevege Events
• Accommodation: The Museum Art Hotel
• Cake: Decorada
• Stationery: Aneta from WE DO Photography and Design
• Transport: Eastbourne Classic Cars
• Music: Elena the Violinist, Steve the Crooner
• Styling: Horrobin and Hodge – botanical stylists, Vintage and Pretty
• Wedding Rings: Pacific Jewellers
• Photography: Inspire Photography: Ceremony, family and group photo and reception details
• We Do: Location creative photos and reception
• Videography: Jono Tucker Film
• Entertainment: The Amazing Travelling Photobooth, Steve the Crooner
• Sweets: The Couture Candy Buffet
• Suits: Frank Casey
• Pamper: Special day spa package and hair and make-up on the day from Salute

Paula and Steve the Crooner warming up for the big occasion

Paul's sister Sara with husband Mick and baby Sophie, son Jacob Whale and Paul's mother Anne

Fran Wilde with Paul's mother Anne McCarthy

Jason and Aneta from WE DO Photography & Design

Johanna with Lauren from Tourism NZ in Australia

Violinist Elena and Rhonda Paku, Senior Curator Matauranga Maori

Johanna, Paula and Rhonda Paku from Te Papa

Paula with Aneta from WE DO Photography & Design

Getting ready (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

Trent and Paul's affection for one another is plain to see (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

Marriage licence time (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

This is serious stuff (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

Hooray! (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

A quiet moment before the madness ensues (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

Here comes Paul! (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

The beautiful bridesmaids making their walk up the aisle (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

Kerry Prendergast did a wonderful job (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

The kiss! (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

The walk of life! (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

Beautiful stationery designed by Aneta from WE DO Photography & Design (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

Cheers! (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

The happy couple with their close friends, family and some of the people that made their day extra special (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

The venue of the divine reception (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

The divine candy buffet from Couture Candy Company (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

More beautiful stationery (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

More candy! (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

Decorada made the most beautiful cake! (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

The beautiful tables with stunning flowers - well done Horrobin and Hodge! (image by Penny Towns, Inspire Photography)

by Johanna Osborne

TRENT AND PAUL – August 19th 2013

“We are super excited to be finally getting married!”

Image by Anne-Marie Calihanna

• Ceremony at Museum of NZ: Te Papa Tongarewa, in Te Marae
• Reception: Martin Bosley’s Port Nicholson Yacht Club
• Celebrant: Kerry Prendergast
• Wedding Planner: Paula Bevege, Paula Bevege Events
• Accommodation: The Museum Art Hotel
• Cake: Decorada
• Transport: Eastbourne Classic Cars
• Styling: Horrobin and Hodge – botanical stylists, Vintage and Pretty
• Wedding Rings: Pacific Jewellers
• Photography: Inspire Photography: Ceremony, family and group photo and reception details
• We Do: Location creative photos and reception
• Videography: Jono Tucker Film
• Entertainment: The Amazing Travelling Photobooth, Steve the Crooner
• Sweets: The Couture Candy Buffet
• Suits: Frank Casey
• Special day spa package and hair and make-up on the day: Salute

When the marriage equality bill was passed in April this year we leapt for joy at the thought that all those couples who have always wanted to can now finally get married. Everyone can have their cake and eat it too, just as it should be! As if that wasn’t a delicious enough morsel of news, soon followed the glorious cherry on top, when Paula Bevege Events and The Wellington Wedding Show were asked to help plan and collaborate what can only be described as one of THE weddings of the year! Yip, we were tickled pink alright.

An exciting competition led by Tourism New Zealand and Positively Wellington saw Newcastle Australia residents, Paul McCarthy, a vet, and Trent Kandler, a teacher, try their luck to be amongst the very first same sex couples to be married on NZ soil under the new law. And it seems this loved up couple has the x-factor in more ways than one, as their positive spirit saw them beat 300 other gay and lesbian couples in their quest. Victory was theirs, and they could not be happier! “We have been together for 11 years and the fact that we’ll be the first to make a lifelong pledge to each other in somewhere as beautiful as New Zealand is both historically significant, and an important step in our personal lives,” Mr McCarthy shares.

Paul and Trent, as well as eight of their closest friends and family will be flown to Wellington, and graciously hosted in the Museum Art Hotel. The big history making wedding ceremony will take place in Te Marae of the Museum of NZ: Te Papa Tongarewa at 9am on Monday the 19th August, followed by a lavish reception at Martin Bosley’s Port Nicholson Yacht Club restaurant.

Paula Bevege Events and the Wellington Wedding Show are looking after Paul and Trent in the lead up to and of course on the big day, and providing them with every last detail to make everything perfect.

Who else will be there on this amazing history-making day? Kerry Prendergast is the celebrant, Jono Tucker Photography is taking care of the all important video, Inspire Photography and We Do Photography & Design are shooting the epic photos, The Amazing Travelling Photobooth will be there to wow and entertain, Vintage and Pretty are styling the event, Frank Casey Formal Suit Hire are dressing the grooms, Salute Hair & Day Spa are overseeing all things beautiful on the day (as well as pampering the grooms with spa packages in the days before!). Decorada is making the fabulously fancy cake, Horrobin and Hodge are doing the beautiful botanical styling and Eastbourne Classic Cars are taking the wedding party around in style.

This will not only be a happy day, but a day of intense emotion and excitement. It is a ground breaking day for our country, where those that love each other are able to make a formal commitment that is recognised in the eyes of the law. It’s a day about liberty, equality and celebrating love in its purest form. It’s a day about progress and triumph. To say we are thrilled to play a small part in something that is such a big deal is an understatement! It is our honour to be there and share this with you. All the very best Trent and Paul, may your life together be as awesome as your wedding day is bound to be!

Read on below for our exclusive interview with Trent and Paul – see what they have to share with us about this epic moment in their lives.

The day we interviewed Trent and Paul…

1. How did you meet and how long have you been together?

Paul and I have been together for 11 years. We met through mutual friends who had been trying to set Paul up with single guys for a while, by hosting dinners and inviting a single guy they knew to dinner so Paul could meet them. This wasn’t at all successful and they gave Paul my phone number as a final effort. Paul cold-called me one afternoon and gave me this big spiel about how he was tired of the dating scene and was looking for a long-term relationship. Unfortunately, in the time between getting my number and calling me, I had started to date another guy. Although I was about to call it quits with that guy as it wasn’t working out I had to turn Paul down, as I wasn’t going to arrange a date while dating someone else! I stopped dating the guy I’d been seeing but thought I’d lost a golden opportunity. Paul was terribly embarrassed at the time and apparently vowed to give up and move to Sydney. A few weeks later we both happened to be on a dating site at the same time and I recognised his nic, which was vetboy. We started chatting and arranged a date – we had Thai takeaway and watched to Rocky Horror Picture Show on TV – the rest is as they say, history.

2. Has it always been your wish to get married?

We have been talking about getting married for a few years now. We had a holiday in Canada in 2008 and had considered getting married while we were there, as same-sex marriage had been made legal in that country. We decided against this, as we really wanted our family and friends to be with us if we were to get married. We decided to wait until Australia made the necessary changes to the law and have been waiting for a long time. It has been a frustrating wait, particularly when other countries have altered their laws to allow same-sex marriage but our Government continues to demonstrate reluctance.

3. Your wedding is only days away and getting international media attention – how does all this feel?

It has been a very busy time fitting in interviews on radio, television and in newspapers and magazines whilst working long hours as a vet (Paul) and teacher (Trent). We have had our stressed out moments but despite the hectic schedule it has been a very exciting time! We aren’t accustomed to so much interest in our lives so it has been a little strange to be the topic of conversation for complete strangers! We hope that this experience will raise greater awareness of the importance of marriage equality in Australia for same-sex couples and make some impact on the choice people make when casting their vote at the upcoming Federal election.

4. What is the most important thing to get right on the wedding day?

Like everyone standing up in front of family and friends pledging your love for another, the vows must be the thing we most desire to get right. Especially since there will be TV and other media outlets present!

5. What are you excited and most nervous about?

We are, of course, super excited to be finally getting married! We can’t wait to be able to stand up in front of family and friends and declare our love for, and commitment to, each other publically. The prize we won from Positively Wellington and Tourism New Zealand is a substantial one and they are looking after us in Wellington very well from a luxury hotel room for 5 nights, flights and accommodation of 8 guests, numerous site seeing expeditions, our wedding held at the National Museum of NZ – Te Papa to a reception for 20 at Martin Bosley’s restaurant. It’s all very exciting! We are probably just nervous about the media attention while we are there.

6. What is the coolest thing about being the very first same-sex couple from Australia to be married in New Zealand?

We get to make a little bit of history for ourselves whilst finally experiencing what heterosexual couples experience as a given right, even if it is in another country.

7. What is your biggest wish for the future?

We just wish to happily grow old together, experiencing the ups and downs of life with the support and love that makes it all worthwhile and making the most of the opportunities we create for ourselves.

8. One sentence that sums both of you up as people and as a couple.

Two world travellers with a love of music, laughter and each other.

Want to know more about Trent and Paul’s big day after it happens? Simply pick up your copy of MR&MRS issue 5 out at the Wellington Wedding Show on 8th September at Shed 6!

Image by Ann-Marie Calihanna

Image by Ann-Marie Calihanna

by Johanna Osborne

Dreams are free. They keep us excited, young, alive and looking forward to the future (or reflecting fondly on the past). I often dream about my wedding day and the amazing time we had. It was magical on so many levels. However, there’s also a lot I’d do differently now almost 8 years after the event. That’s not to say I didn’t love and appreciate what I had, it’s just that my taste and style has changed a lot since then. And since I see so many gorgeous weddings, I am often caught harping on about how I’d do this and that if I could do it all over again … so today I have decided to give myself a couple of hours to piece together my dream wedding. How hard can it be?!?

1. The Dress. I would not go for big and puffy, heavy and restrictive again. I loved my dress but it limited my movements and even my ability to use the toilet (I needed 4 ladies in waiting!) This time I’d go for sleeker, vintage style with beading. Something like this lil’ beauty!

image via Wanderlust

2. Veil? Not this time. I would opt for a sparkling headpiece to capture the glamour and excitement of the 1920s

(pic from Johanna Johnson)

3. Bridesmaids? My besties could wear knee-length dresses if they like (last time I was so anti, thinking it wasn’t formal enough!) and any colour would be ok. For some reason I was in a “I hate pink” era of my life in 2005-2006, thus eliminating this stunning colour from my palette. Seems I have become more open minded in my old age! Or of course flapper dresses would also be an incredible option, the bride should not be the only one that sparkles!

(image from One Towed)

Viktoria Novak

4. Groom? Well he certainly wouldn’t change (the very best part of our wedding, hands down!) but his outfit might. Just how I would convince him to wear white though? Well that’s another story

5. Entertainment – there WOULD be a photobooth, no doubt about it. They simply are the best things ever! And of course there would need to be a live band too.

6. Cocktails – At my dream wedding there would be a fabulous bar and wonderfully elegant cocktails

Image from Fab Day

7. Ice cream! It’s not my passion for nothing, I simply adore the stuff. I would have a vintage ice cream truck serving refreshingly yummy gelato all afternoon/evening and just for a bit of personalisation I think these wafers are a super cute touch!

Truly Chic Inspiration

Photo from Alex in Wanderland

8. Fireworks! It’s a dream wedding after all, so budget plays no part

9. Peonies. I might have to time my wedding around peony season, as I just love them so!

Photo via One Wed

10. And last but not least, no dream wedding blog is complete without a shot of Kate Moss’ divine wedding. For my beating heart there still has not been one to match the resplendence of THIS:

by Johanna Osborne

I was reading an article the other day about how communication is key in relationships. Nothing earth shattering there, everybody knows that, right? Of course we do. We all know it in theory – practice on the other hand could use some work from most of us I suspect! This simple little article got me thinking just how important communication is in our everyday lives and how often things can go more than a little wrong just because someone didn’t use their words.
This applies of course most of all in relationships, but even in normal daily life communication can make or break a situation. Just think of that tradesman that has left you waiting for almost 2 hours now. He’s busy and it’s probably not even his fault, but had he exercised good communication and called you to tell you of the delay you’d probably be singing his praises by now. One small phonecall could change a bad situation into a good one.

When your sister seems moody and disinterested in your conversation you might feel annoyed, but if she used good communication skills and told you she was really feeling down about something, then your annoyance would swiftly turn to sympathy in one fell swoop.

When you see someone wearing something nice and you want to comment, but the moment passes and slips away. You feel bad later and think you should have said how lovely she looked, and likely it would have made her day.

In reality chances to communicate the good are in abundance, and it’s sad but true that we don’t often enough seize the chance to tell others how nice they look, how good they make us feel, how well they’ve done. Why? It’s not because we are mean and don’t want to make others feel good, it’s about distraction, not thinking outside our own square and what concerns us directly. To make others feel good you have to first feel good yourself and with life’s hassles in our path this is often easier said than done. Who has the time and energy to pay compliments when your phone won’t stop ringing?

Just think of all the chances we have each day: the co-workers that could be more positive towards each other, the boss that could praise his employees a little (or a lot) more, the diner at the restaurant that could give the waitress a kind word or two in exchange for good service. Communication and kindness go hand in hand. But we let far too many opportunities go unseized.

And of course there’s the flipside. In my former job as a recruitment consultant I met a lot of wonderful people, but every now and then there would be a real a tricky customer, often ladies who were determined to be difficult, rude and impolite. Some of them even breathed fire, I swear! Why? Well instead of taking it personally, it made me think that these people must have something going on to make them like this, a problem, a burden, a worry. After all, we are usually at our least lovable when we actually need the most love. Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle said Plato, and damn straight sister he was right! If you can break through the icy front often there is something worth discovering underneath. Not everyone possesses good communication skills and instead of expressing what’s bothering them people mask insecurity, feelings of inadequacy and sadness with a rude or gruff exterior.

And of course communication is what makes the world of relationships go round. No one is a mind reader. If you are tired and grumpy and on the verge of a fight you might just have to say it out loud, although admitting you are in a bad mood is no easy feat. Telling the other person how you feel, and mastering the art of doing so tactfully is a true skill. Admitting “I’m in a bad mood, please don’t take anything I say to heart” could save many an argument. And of course during “heated discussions” not saying “You did this, you did that” but rather “When you do that, it makes me feel this way…” Yes the experts recommend it, but putting it all into practice takes work.

Relationships are not meant to be easy peasy fluffy and greasy all the time. Conflict has to happen and it’s the resolution which has the power to cement your union. It’s about talking things through. It’s about sharing what’s making you happy, what makes you anxious and what you dream about. Somewhere along the road of coupledom however couples can stop talking – TVs, phones and computers get in the way of the old fashioned cup of tea or glass of wine after dinner that was customary in our parents’ day. Looking towards the past is often a good way to find solutions for the present. What did all these people do who have been married for 50+ years? They made it work because there was no other way. They didn’t give up, if it was “broken” they fixed it and they didn’t walk away. They talked about it and saw it through. Jumping ship was not an option.

Respect and joy are key ingredients in the victory of a relationship. If you respect your partner you will be in awe of what they do, and gain joy from their successes, which you should wholeheartedly embrace and celebrate. Showing your happiness at your partner’s conquests in life is the best thing you could possibly do for their self esteem. And let’s face it, who doesn’t like to be praised?

Sharing stress, tension and anxiety is also critical in a relationship. Instead of bottling it up, locking it away and nervously digesting it when it sits like a rock at the bottom of your tummy is not the way forward. A problem shared is a problem halved. Your partner is there to help you, even if they don’t know what to say or have all the answers, the fact they listened to your problem is the first step in the right direction. Trust in them, they might surprise you. Just because your fiancé didn’t have a starring role in Sex and the City doesn’t mean he isn’t clued up on the wisdoms of womanhood.

Good things should always be said out loud. Don’t let that moment slip you by when you could have told your fiancé how much he means to you. If there’s time to text a friend or watch an episode of Shortland Street then there’s definitely time to make the ones you love feel good, cherished, appreciated and valued. It’s just a matter of awareness and priorities. If the world were to end tonight (bad descriptive to use at this present time, I know) would all the people you love most in the world know how you feel about them? Would they think “Ah yes, she really loved me and made me feel very special?” In theory that sounds nice and idyllic, but how many of us can claim that as a reality? It’s easier said than done. Wonder where I should begin? Might need to make a few phone calls myself…

I wonder if Susan, Rachel and Sally know how much I love our dinners out and how our bonding and sharing sessions put a spring in my stride for days on end afterwards? And I wonder if Amanda knows how much we miss her at table these days. I wonder if my Mum truly knows how much she means to me. She has always been my rock when I’ve gone through a hard time, needed help and guidance and I wonder if she is aware how much she has helped me over the years? I wonder if Sally knows that my childhood and teenage years spent getting up to no good with her are some of the most fun memories of my life? I wonder if Stephen knows that I thought he looked incredibly handsome as he swooped out the door to work this morning? I wonder if Di, Diane, Lesina, Lyn, Angela and Gina know lucky I felt to work with them and how dearly I hold these ladies in my heart? I wonder if Angie, Charlotte, Pam, Jane and Sarah know how happy and grateful I feel to have met some of the most fantastic friends ever right here in my neighbourhood? I wonder if Clare and Sally both know that my buggy walks with each of them in the first year of Milan’s life were the best therapy sessions and were single-handedly my saving grace? I wonder if Paula knows how incredibly fortunate I feel to write this blog and of course for MR&MRS magazine, my dream job and it’s all come true because of her! I wonder if my brother-in-law Chris knows that we think he’s the most awesome brother, friend and uncle there is, and nothing makes us happier than seeing Milan squealing with delight playing with his uncle. There are so many special people in my life and I wonder if I have done enough to make sure they know it. Chances are they have an idea of how I feel, but it never hurts to say it out loud! Right, time to work on those warm fuzzies…