To the one I love

Category: Blog

by Johanna Osborne

I spoke at our wedding. I stood up, microphone in hand, all fluffy white dress, big veil and happy shiny face, speech notes jittering in my hand. It was all recorded on video, so I know now that I spoke very slowly (for fear of speaking too fast) and tisked and make funny clicking noises with my tongue, which I can only put down to nerves, as I don’t belong to a remote African tribe.

I’ve talked about our wedding and even how we met on previous blogs, but I guess there’s always a new angle, a new story, a new memory that sparks some happy recollections. And today marks another chapter in our story.

I said a lot of heartfelt things at our wedding which I meant from the bottom of my heart and still do. But I wish I could rewind to that point in time, and add a few more things. You see, on the 5th January 2006 my darling Stephen and I had been together 7 years. I knew him well and was head over heels in love with him. Now, a further 7 years on I know him as well as I know myself and I am not only in love with him, he is my heart. Our love has gone from being “young” to becoming something more profound, something more adult, something even more durable. The first 7 years saw our eyes meet across a crowded bar, a meteor shower erupting (or so it felt) and thus the first breathtaking exciting whirlwind of our relationship began. I was 21, turning 22 and never felt so sure of anything in my life. If they could bottle that stuff, this would surely be the most desirable drug in the world, nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever feel that good! We never spent a moment apart after that and it wasn’t long that we left the safety of our respective family homes (bye Mum and Dad!) and moved in together. After 2 months together I got my first ring, engraved with “forever my princess”.

A tiny but lovely little flat in Mount Cook became our home, and saw us slowly grow up and become adults together. It was where Stephen finished his degree and where I farwelled him off to his first big job interview in his newly purchased first suit. It was where we realised that our life was to be together. We started small and we dreamt big. We wanted to travel and to see the world and enjoy the good things in life together. We instantly valued the same things. We were not the type of couple that would have to compromise on what sort of holiday to take, which restaurant to eat at, which film to see…. because we liked pretty much the same things. We were (and still are) people who like excitement, action and fun. Stephen always made me laugh, from the minute we met to this very day. He has a lighthearted, relaxed way of seeing the world and that is to me the saviour of all things, for being relaxed is not always my forte. He didn’t make me go camping and I thanked my lucky stars for that. He drove me places and picked me up and opened car doors for me. He bought me nice things and took me out on amazing dates. I knew secretly I was the envy of every girl that crossed our path. It was hard to believe he had picked me, as he really could have had anyone. I felt so lucky!

Fast forward a few eras and time zones. We got engaged in 2005 and it was a fairytale come true. “Finally” was the response we got from Stephen’s family, but no matter how long we’d been together it was still a surprise and a huge high. We were older now and had just bought our first place, the inner city apartment that would bear witness to many a fun party, as well as lazy Sundays on the couch cuddling with our bunny rabbit Scooby, eating junk food. It was our haven and we loved it. We didn’t move overseas. Stephen wanted to at first, but I explained to him that I wanted to stay near my beloved family, which he accepted and agreed with. Hence he got just as close as I was to my Mum and Dad, and he counted my father as one of his best friends. We spent a lot of time with family and we grew to prefer having dinners with my Mum and Dad over boozy nights in town. We had such fun, playing rowdy Pictionary which only got better fuelled by several bottles of wine (I shall confirm my Dad and I always won, but not how we did it, as that would be telling!).

We travelled – and we did it in style, even in the early years when we couldn’t afford much. It was the simple things like lying on our sun loungers in Mykonos enjoying a giant Greek icecream, the decadence and enjoyment was out of this world. Or the time we sat in the priciest cafe in Santorini way up high perched above the azure sea, and as students all we could afford were frappes, much to the dismay of the waitress. We enjoyed the same things, and we still laugh about the same stories, over and over again.

Our wedding day was awesome, and it was filled with the essence of family and friends that truly make up who we are as a couple. We are a warm loving family and all our guests said they really felt that. That to me was the highest compliment of our wedding day, as ambience, feeling and emotion is everything.

I always knew Stephen was awesome, and he showed me again and again. When some so-called friends betrayed me, he not only supported me, he did everything he could to fix it. I saw then that anyone that messes with me messes with him, he had my back and would fight for me. I was not alone and never would be. If anyone did anything to me, he would be my number 1 supporter. And when my beloved Father was taken from us, much too soon in a totally unexpected and tragic way in 2009, the night before Father’s Day of all days, Stephen suffered as much as I did. We had been through loss before, but this was a tragedy we were not sure our family would survive. 5 months pregnant and excited about telling my Dad we were naming Milan after him (Alois would be our son’s middle name) the following day at Father’s Day brunch, we never got the chance. It was all taken from us too soon in a cruel twist of fate. We were devastated, but despite his own grief Stephen held our family together and put each one of us slowly back together.

When Milan entered the world Stephen was there to catch him and I’ve never seen such love in a person’s eyes. Milan stole Stephen’s heart the moment he took his first breath and there is nothing that could make me happier. You see that is something I have only recently learnt, Stephen is an amazing boyfriend, partner and husband, but he is an even better father. He loves with all his heart and protects his son with all his might. There is nothing Stephen wouldn’t do for his little boy. I couldn’t be prouder.

And that is something I wish I could have foretold or mentioned in my speech all the way back then. That my husband was made of the real stuff. He has what it takes. He can stay strong through the tough times, he knows how to love within an inch of his life and he will not crumble and wilt when the going gets tough. We’ve had some fights and disagreements along the way and we are by no means “perfect”, but Stephen would never once say a word to me that he would later regret. He never insults me or puts me down. He has the most amazing respect and I can only dream to be as good a person as he is. We know we belong together. We have found unconditional love. Nothing can break us.

Basically what I’m saying is that we don’t know how strong our relationship is until it’s tested by life’s trials. Gone is some of the nativity of youth and along has come a bit more wisdom and maturity of age. It’s easy to say I will love you forever when you are surrounded by champagne, rose petals and mountains of gifts. True love shows itself over the years and gets stronger with the test of time and the hurdles life throws at you. It won’t be a walk in the park or a fairytale (like I so foolishly compared it to in my wedding speech!). Love is more like a badge of honour that you earn – you work for it, you defend it and you wear it with pride. For when all is said and done, there is nothing more important than the person you love and them loving you right back. And it is my great fortune that I am Stephen Jason Osborne’s wife… I could not be luckier.