The way we see things

Category: Blog

by Johanna Osborne

Our personal perspective and unique perception have such a profound effect on us in so many ways, and often we don’t even realise it! It is why we think some things are great and others are not. Our perspective is responsible for the slant or angle with which we view life, and whilst we like to think that we are all in one way or another on the same page, often that’s not the case at all. What goes on inside our heads and hearts is so unique, and everyone is so different in how they view life.

One such example comes to mind when in 2007 my husband and I visited Rarotonga on one of our honeymoons. (Yes we were young, carefree and very greedy!). We spent a few blissfully relaxing days on the very low-key mainland. The pace of life was slow and it was very conducive to relaxation in its purest form. It was pretty amazing how simple life is there, how basic the (few) shops are and how modestly the locals live. It was totally and utterly different to the wealth and abundance of everything we have here in our country, and served as a healthy reminder that it’s possible to live in much more simplistic way. After a few indulgent days on the mainland, we then caught a small plane to the island of Aitutaki to enjoy the second part of our holiday. We realised then that everything we had heard was true. Aitutaki was not the chosen venue for a Survivor season for nothing – it was totally and utterly quiet. Well, apart from the locals demonstrating about us landing in an aeroplane on a sacred Sunday, a completely unthinkable thing in a very religious community. But even their protest was a quiet, peaceful one. We immediately felt ashamed and sorry to cause upset to these obviously good people. We had no idea that this was even an issue and felt very sorry. The island of Aitutaki itself was as both as beautiful and basic as you can get. Far, far more primitive than anything we had seen in Rarotonga. By comparison it made Rarotonga look advanced! But that did not detract from the stunning beaches and untouched land. If anything, it made everything that much better.

Leaving our fancy-pants resort was a bit of a surprise. We rented a 4WD jeep and toured the island in 15 minutes flat, over and over again. It was fascinating. The houses on the island were very basic, sometimes with no doors or window panes. Furniture was sparse and consisted mainly of mattresses on the floor. The school bus was a big open truck with kids piled on top. There were roosters everywhere, live ones, and those that had already succumbed to a ruthless plucking, ready for the pot. There were cell phones, but the big brick kind from the 90s. The local shop sold only SPF 60 sunscreen, and when we asked for a lower SPF (back in the days where the pursuit of a good tan superseded any anti-wrinkle and, heaven forbid, skin cancer worries) we were told “You white fellas burn so easily, you need the high SPF”. And so that was that. It was either that or no SPF at all. It was how it was. No beating round the bush, just plain simple truth in front of us everywhere we looked. It all made my sheltered life painfully obvious, and highlighted a need to see and experience more of the world.

All in all it was one of the coolest experiences of my life. It was all such an eye opener for us, this pampered couple who had until very recently been consumed with pressing issues such as whether our wedding reception needed an ice sculpture and if gold covered chocolate hearts were an appropriate favour for guests. It all made us painfully aware that we have far more than we really need. But it wasn’t really a matter of poverty and hardship in this case, yes these people had very little, but they were the happiest folk I’ve ever seen anywhere. They had food, they had a home and most importantly – they had family. We saw relaxed, smiling, singing, joyful and thankful folk. There was no need to feel sorry for them. Anyone would think they had won Lotto, but their equivalent of striking it rich clearly has nothing to do with money.

At dinner that night back in our resort we make conversation with our lovely waiter and asked what brings him to Aitutaki. His response “I used to live in Rarotonga, but the pace of life was too fast and busy. It was much too stressful for me. It’s much more relaxing here.” And really that was the very definition of perspective. To us, Rarotonga was slow, and Aitutaki at an almost stand-still, both places simple to the point of being from a different era. Yet to this young man, that’s all he knew and he felt simple little Rarotonga was too fast paced for him. He knew no different.

It really does come down to what you compare things to. It’s possible to be extremely happy with only the minimum in life, and it appears that sometimes those that have the least are the most satisfied. It’s not always about having the best, getting more or climbing up, but rather about sitting still and being thankful. This is a lesson in every aspect of life, and one that can apply when getting caught up in the frantic planning of your wedding day and your future in general. Ultimately your wedding is about the man you are about to marry , surrounded by the family and friends you love, and the extras are just a bonus. Sometimes all it takes is a shift in perspective and a comparison to something different to make you realise where and what you really are.