Sally and Craig

Category: Blog

by Johanna Osborne and Sally Rutherfoord

Johanna’s childhood friend goes from Miss to Mrs to Baby Mama… read what she has to share today…

Recently we revisited one of our newlywed couples from Mr & Mrs magazine issue #2, and the feedback from you was wonderful. People seem to enjoy real-life love stories, so today I’d like to share another one with you. This time it’s about one of my oldest and dearest friends Sally.
Sally and I have been friends since primary school, experienced our high school years and entry into adulthood, as well as many, many firsts together. We were there for each other through thick and thin, bad and good. We shared the heartbreaks and the joys and in each other’s lives, and will continue to be friends always.

So when my darling friend Sally met her soul mate on her big OE and returned with him on her arm, I knew it was serious. We all soon grew very fond of her lovely down-to-earth bloke Craig, and were thrilled when he put a very pretty ring on her finger. Sally’s parents were equally delighted. They were – and still are- the type of people that you simply can’t help but like. Their home was always open to us as kids; they are kind and caring and have enormous hearts and empathy for others. They raised their children in a way that was very loving, yet also firm and fair. And as a result their 3 children grew up to know right from wrong, and to show love and respect always. So really it’s no wonder Sally is the amazing woman she is today. She has some pretty cool role models.

With 12 years together, 6 years of marriage and 3 children (4.5 yrs, 3yrs and 6 mths) under their belt, and a marriage that’s going from strength to strength, I thought Sally and Craig were the best people to ask how to keep the love alive, find a balance and manage the stresses of life (and kids!) that pop up along the way. Much like Super Mario must navigate his way through hurdles in Playstation without veering off course, a married couple has to do the same… and it’s not always fun and games. It can be hard, but sometimes the hard stuff is what makes us strongest. They say “A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” So let’s see if Sally is willing to share her recipe with us today…

1. What is your secret to keeping your marriage happy?
“I would say communication and spending time together as a couple, and as a family are all equally important. Also knowing that we will always be there for each other through thick and thin.”

2. What are some of the challenges you think couples in their first year of marriage might face, and what are some other issues that might come up down the track?
“I can’t remember things being a challenge in that first year –for us it was more about starting an adventure as a Mr and Mrs. Buying a house was exciting and scary at the same time. Starting a family, going to one income and still trying to find the time to spend with each other as the focus changes to children are all challenges – but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.”

3. What is something every couple should do before they get married?
“We did a fair bit of travelling together before getting hitched. It was a good way to get to know each other as we were living in each other’s pockets for 24 hours a day.”

4. What is something every married couple should do?
“We found doing the Alpha Marriage course really good. It’s a 7 week course run by local churches, set up to give you advice on having a good healthy marriage.”

5. How has having kids impacted on your relationship and how do you balance it all?
“Well having 3 children under 5 means that our household has become a noisy, chaotic place to be. Balancing it all can be somewhat difficult – and each day is a different battle. We try to block out Sunday afternoons to spend as a family. We have all our big, important conversations after the kids are in bed. And when we are beginning to feel like we need a pick me up, we book a babysitter, and head to a nice restaurant and chat for a few hours over a bottle of wine, and that seems to get us back in sync.”

6. What are some of the biggest lessons you have learnt?
“A marriage is not easy and it takes two to make it work. It’s one of the biggest and longest commitments you will ever make, but there is no training for it – you wing it, so you’re learning every day.”

7. Happiest moment/s you have shared?
“There are so many …. Round the world backpacking trip, Craig getting residency in NZ, our wedding day, holidays we have shared, the arrival of each of our children. There are too many to list just one.”

8. Biggest hurdle you have had to overcome as a couple?
“We have had our tough moments over the years with us both being from different countries. We met in London, and I was determined I was coming back to NZ – luckily for me, Craig followed me back. But that has meant he had to move away from his friends and family.”

9. Who is your biggest role model in terms of marriage and family?
“I know it sounds cheesy, but it has to be my parents. Still so in love, and walk hand in hand down the street after 37 years of marriage. I want that!”

10. Every couple should…
“Try and get out for regular date nights. Don’t let the little things turn into mountains. Never sleep on an argument. Always have dinner together as a family. Tell each other that you love them … and have fun!”