by Johanna Osborne

I get to write a lot of wonderful love stories for Mr & Mrs magazine and they are all unique and beautiful. There’s something so special about hearing about a couple’s journey to the altar, and it’s a true privilege for us to be allowed to share in their happiness, put it in print and pass it on to our readers to enjoy.

And whilst I take the time to really get a feel for our couples, there’s one couple I’m a little more familiar with than most. Who? Well the one I’m part of. You see, today, the 1st of October 2012 is a special day in my relationship. And I’d like to share a little about it with you today. 13 years ago on this very day, all the way back in 1999 (gasp, last century!) was the day, or should I say night, when my now-husband and I first kissed. To me that was possibly one of the most nerve-wrecking, earth shatteringly exciting, belly flipping moments of my life, right up there with actually walking down the aisle. We met at a very young age, I wasn’t even quite 22 yet, and he captured my attention like no other. We saw each other around and I would always swoon (internally of course, I was far too cool to visibly fawn over a guy). He had well and truly caught my eye and my heart, and yet we had never spoken a word to each other. Well apart from once when I served him in the clothing store I worked in. He came in, I got all flustered and told one of the girls I was working with “You serve him, I just can’t do it, I’m far too nervous!” I did end up accidentally being behind the till when it came time to pay, and I was all fumbling hands, shaky fingers and red face… it was not my finest moment.

Before we had ever exchanged words we had laid eyes on each other in various places, on the over-bridge at Victoria university, in the said clothing store, at various bars and clubs around town – never having said anything, yet some strange magnetic pull seemed to exist between us. Once I saw him a crowded bar and I squealed to my friends “Oh my God, there’s the guy I’m going to marry!” and they looked at me like I had well and truly lost my marbles. But perhaps that’s what they mean when they talk about fate and knowing when it’s “the one”. Then, once he and I did speak it was like we had never not talked, and the conversation flowed on from one night in a bar, to phone calls that would last until 3 or 4 am. My parents remarked they had never heard me laugh so loud or so much through the walls in the house (yes I was a student still living at home!) and immediately “he” – Stephen – had a small seal of approval for making me so happy – the remainder of which would be issued when he picked me up for our first date. Now my father, a great judge in character who was usually incredibly right about most people, was immediately fond of Stephen. And that’s saying something, as Stephen’s predecessor did not have the same luck. My Dad remarked to me that he found it incredibly chivalrous that Stephen would drive all the way from Miramar (where he lived with his parents, yes we were young!) to Pauatahanui (where I lived) – a good 30 minute trek, only to drive us both back into town where our first date would be (and many thereafter). Yes, Stephen insisted on picking me up, rather than asking me to meet him in town. That, my Dad thought, was already a good indicator that he was respectful. Not long after, Stephen and my Dad would bond over home brew, a love of fixing things and became good, fast friends who would often meet for coffee and draw grand plans on serviettes whilst drinking Mojo and eating Whitakers chocolate.

When I got into Stephen’s car I was astonished that it was so clean and tidy, and to me it was the coolest car in the world. I’m told it was a poo-brown cheap student car, but to me there was no car I’d rather be in. We drove, we chatted, we laughed. There was never any silence, and we stayed and talked at Parade Cafe until the lights turned off and we were politely shoved outside. Then we did what any young couple would do, we drove to the Lord of the Rings set (yes 1999 remember!) and we climbed, or clamoured ungracefully in heels in my case, up the steepest hills. Love is an amazing adrenalin giver that’s for sure. At the top we kissed Kate and Leo style whilst the wind was pummelling us, and again nothing could have been more romantic. Then we watched secretly as they filmed some amazing horse scene with Liv Tyler, until the security guards found us and asked us to leave.

That was the beginning of a whirlwind. We were never apart from that moment on, and we had countless experiences that still rate as the best in my life. We didn’t have much money, things were simple and yet some of the things were the most exciting I’ve ever done. We decided – spur of the moment of course – to go on a road trip and it was one of the best holidays of my life. The adventure, the adrenalin, the excitement, the unknown – it was all so heady, so thrilling and so scary. This was it. It was a big deal and it meant the world to me. The utter vulnerability of what might happen next is what made the ride such an incredible one. We met in October, by Christmas he had given me a special ring engraved with “Forever my Princess”. I still have that ring and always will.

Fast forward a few years and we moved in together, a few more and we got engaged. We bought our own place, lived life to the fullest with tons of holidays and indulgences. We knew how to have a good time (and still do) and perhaps that’s what binds us – our love of having fun and enjoying what life has to offer. In 2006 we were married and it was the very best wedding we could have had. Our families were there and the presence of them and the memories we made on that day will live on forever. In 2009 we had some very, very happy news – we were expecting our first child. Then in September of the same year, when I was 5 months pregnant the unthinkable happened, and my beloved father died suddenly and unexpectedly. Our world crumbled. I had always been the apple of my father’s eye and he the hero of my life. He was everything to me, to us and from one moment to the next I lost someone I loved very, very much. But the loss was not just mine. Stephen was as much affected as the rest of my family, for Stephen had become my Dad’s 2nd son over the 10 years they knew each other. It was a time that tested us more than I could ever put into words. Suffice to say Stephen was our family’s rock and navigated us through the storm, despite grieving himself. And out the other side a blessing came… our son Milan was born a few short months after, and he has and continues to bring light, joy, love and plenty of chaos into our everyday lives.

What have we learnt? Appreciate what you have, savour it, enjoy it. Take a lot of photos, capture the moments. There are so many things to be thankful for. People often ask me how we keep our love alive after 13 years of being together and I often struggle to answer… it comes naturally, but perhaps it’s because we are so well matched. I’m a bit highly strung and Stephen is relaxed, good natured and seems to put up with me. I keep him on task and motivated, and he keeps me from stressing out too much. Yin and yang. I was reminded once again how good we are together, how good he is, when the other day Stephen came home and gave me a hand cream. My puzzled expression must have said it all. “It’s for you, because I saw you squeezing the life out of your other one, so I thought I better get you a new one” he told me with a kind, serious face. The fact he thought to do that, and got both the brand and type right touched me immensely. Stephen is a busy guy, has a lot on his mind and plate, but he thinks of something so trivial… yet so incredibly meaningful.

I think I can say that I found my inner peace in the man I married, the man who is now his son’s hero, the man who would move heaven and earth for his little family. I know I am greatly loved, and there is incredible reassurance and comfort that comes with that. Flashback 13 years and if I could, I would tell my nervous giddy former self to brace herself for the ride of her life, and hang on tight to that soul mate that just walked into her life.

“True love stories never have endings.” Richard Bach

1999, on one of our first dates inside a little photo booth